


The Yeetening™

by humanbean



Category: Glee
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-31 10:49:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18589732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/humanbean/pseuds/humanbean
Summary: Silly, self-indulgent fluff. Set in a timeline where the Season 4 newbies never leave McKinley, all the newbies get to go out on a visit to a lake together, and Jake Puckerman gets to be the agent of chaos he was born to be.





	The Yeetening™

On the bus, Marley leans over the aisle to Jane, because forewarned is forearmed and Jake does so love to mess with little Jane Hayward.

“Just so you know,” Marley says, “Jake is an absolute _terror_ around water.”

Jane pokes her chin out, makes the faux-haughty expression that’s offset by the fun in her eyes and makes Marley want to squish her. “Jake Puckerman is _always_ a terror,” she says.

__

Jane is, evidently, not forewarned enough. Once they get off the bus, Jake sidles up to her, asks to see her phone for a second, and Jane barely has time to get out the words “What for?” before he’s snatched it out of her hands, picked her up and tossed her into the water.

Jane comes up spitting mouthfuls of water, wide-eyed and indignant. “I still have my _shoes on,_ you heathen!” she snaps.

Jake throws his head back and laughs. “They’ll dry,” he says.

__

It’s a testament to Jake’s powers of subterfuge that Marley _lets her guard down with him._ His puppy dog eyes and his “babe, don’t you trust me?” and his pouting don’t work, but when they’re looking out over the water, talking about the road trip they’re going to have this summer (the first summer they get to be _together_ ), everything is so relaxing and so magical that she almost doesn’t catch the maniacal glint in Jake’s eye.

“Jake, don’t you _dare—”_ she starts, but it’s too late, he’s daring. Just as she goes airborne, she manages to reach out and catch Jake’s wrist so that he comes tumbling off the pier after her. She clings onto him and laughs, wet hair and butterflies, still, and then she wraps her arms around his neck and they kiss and kiss until Kitty swims over and pulls Marley’s legs from under her, because “nobody wants to see that.”

__

He almost doesn’t have the heart to go for Roderick, who is sweet and innocuous and spends much of his time dangling his feet off the pier while Jane yells to him from the water.

Almost.

Roderick’s a pretty chill guy, so once Jake decides to go for him it’s easy. He approaches in a spirit of friendship, making small talk until he’s close enough to put both his hands on Roderick’s back and give him a firm shove.

In goes Roderick.

__

Madison sees the writing on the wall, and Madison is smart. She runs.  

Jake ends up having to chase her halfway across the grounds, weaving around bags and tables and Sam, who’s set up a folding chair and is playing the role of their “adult supervision” but mostly texting Mercedes. Catch her he does, though, and carries her slung over his shoulder, screaming and pounding her fists, back to the water’s edge so he can chuck her in.

__

Spencer collaborates with him to take down Mason. One minute they’re discussing the Browns’ chances this season, and the next one Jake’s got his arms and Spencer’s got his legs and they’re swinging him like a jump rope. Once, twice.

On the third swing they let go, and Mason gets an amount of air time that is frankly, impressive, before he hits the water.

They salute each other.

__

Spencer hasn’t lowered his arm yet when Jake ploughs into him with the full force of his body weight.

The look of betrayal on his face is worth whatever the payback will be later.

__

Ryder is too competitive to be caught off guard, so Jake adapts his tactics.

They talk enough trash between them, in any case, that a wrestling match is inevitable. When they both, still grappling each other, fall into the water at the exact same time, Jake counts it as a victory.

__

Kitty is difficult. Top of the pyramid in every Cheerios routine, it’s not that she has any issue with being picked up and manhandled. It’s just that her pride makes her want to believe that she, and she alone, has been too smart to fall victim like all the others to the Yeetening™.

Truth be told, she almost is.

Jake’s first attempt he fails on purpose, to build her confidence, but the second time he really tries. She pinches the underside of his arm until he drops her.

It’s not until later that everybody’s pretty much swum out, and Ryder’s bickering with Sam about the right way to fire up the dented old grill they brought, and the sun is starting to set over the horizon.

Kitty is wringing water out of her hair and yelling that they’d better get a move on because she’s starving, when she makes the mistake of walking a little too close to Jake.

He catches her around the waist and chucks her right back off the pier.

__

The Yeetening™ is complete.


End file.
